Jeff Crowell
Paranormal Annoyance
So I caught a show called Extreme Paranormal last night on A&E. It was the first episode. I've heard this show was coming from some ghost hunting friends of mine where the show was based on the "investigators" intentionally provoking the ghosts to try to get something to happen. A few of the more sensitive people took offense of this technique, as I did for no other reason than it's annoying and disrespectful. Still, I decided to watch the show just to see what it was al about.
This was the dumbest f-ing paranormal show since Most Haunted. It's 8 times worse than Most Haunted, too. The three f-ers doing the show are dumber than a box of rocks. As my wife put it, there's the gay guy, the fat guy, and the idiot. So the first part of the first episode they go to an insane asylum that had a history of violence (imagine that...an asylum with a history of violence.) Supposedly, as the story goes, a riot broke out and some of the inmates raided another area of the asylum, setting some of those inmates on fire or beating them to death.
So the fools of Extreme Paranormal go there and start yelling, running, cutting through steel bars while trying to provoke something into happening. At one point they come across the visage of a burned inmate upon the ground and decide they're going to try to provoke there, because, after all, "someone died, right there " as the fat guy put it. That's when the show really goes off the damn deep end.
The gay guy (not that I have a problem with homosexuals at all, in fact I listen to a podcast that has a gay host and it's a pretty decent show, but this guy looked like he was in denial. I only call him "the gay guy" for identification purposes.), decided to do a blood ritual. On they went, the gay guy cutting his palm and outlining the burned image. He chanted some hocus-pocus BS and scribing some supposedly magical f-ing symbol in the image, tried to summon the ghosts. Very little happened for all their efforts, and call I can say is I pray that guy was not HIV positive.
The next session of the episode centered around a supposedly haunted lake where the gay guy, again, decided he was going to use sorcery to protect the idiots from harm, and summon the ghosties. The idiots put a floating ring and stars in the water to protect them, then the fool dove down to the bottom while the gay and fat guys went on shore to summon the ghosts that inhabited the lake. (I have to admit, the concept behind the haunted lake was pretty cool, but, still, it by no means takes away from the fact that these guys are blatant morons.) A friend of mine from work said that the ring in the water used to counter the ghosts reminded him of the episode of Spongebob Square Pants where Spongebob drew a ring in the sand to protect him and Patrick from a Sea Bear. This was about as realistic as a Spongebob episode, too. In the beginning of this part of the show, the fools were looking over the edge of the water with their flashlights when suddenly something broke the surface of the water pretty close and caused a serious splash. They freaked and chalked it up as paranormal activity. Clearly these morons never went fishing at night with their father or else they would be well aware that a light near the surface of the water will attract fish!! F, these guys are down right stupid!
In the end there was a lot of "What was that?!" and "Something just pushed me, dude" and "I saw something!!!" when the camera was pointed the other way. There was very little in the way of evidence caught...a shadow moving and some banging sounds that could have been the film crew, and a lot of spook-show, hocus-pocus BS.
How does this show compare to Ghost Hunters? This show makes Ghost Hunters look like genuine scientific research, and people who know me know how much I HATE ghost hunters these days. In a world where paranormal investigation is not taken seriously at all, this piece of s**** program puts the entire concept of paranormal investigation back to the stone age. Yeah, with magic incantations and whoody-whoo BS and all. I loathe this program, and anybody with any kind of serious streak in them will avoid the show like the plague. Let it wither and die so we can all pretend it never happened.
(BTW, this was the seriously edited version of my view of the program. The unedited version is on my blog. It just has the curse-worse in it so you're not missing any of my rant.)
This was the dumbest f-ing paranormal show since Most Haunted. It's 8 times worse than Most Haunted, too. The three f-ers doing the show are dumber than a box of rocks. As my wife put it, there's the gay guy, the fat guy, and the idiot. So the first part of the first episode they go to an insane asylum that had a history of violence (imagine that...an asylum with a history of violence.) Supposedly, as the story goes, a riot broke out and some of the inmates raided another area of the asylum, setting some of those inmates on fire or beating them to death.
So the fools of Extreme Paranormal go there and start yelling, running, cutting through steel bars while trying to provoke something into happening. At one point they come across the visage of a burned inmate upon the ground and decide they're going to try to provoke there, because, after all, "someone died, right there " as the fat guy put it. That's when the show really goes off the damn deep end.
The gay guy (not that I have a problem with homosexuals at all, in fact I listen to a podcast that has a gay host and it's a pretty decent show, but this guy looked like he was in denial. I only call him "the gay guy" for identification purposes.), decided to do a blood ritual. On they went, the gay guy cutting his palm and outlining the burned image. He chanted some hocus-pocus BS and scribing some supposedly magical f-ing symbol in the image, tried to summon the ghosts. Very little happened for all their efforts, and call I can say is I pray that guy was not HIV positive.
The next session of the episode centered around a supposedly haunted lake where the gay guy, again, decided he was going to use sorcery to protect the idiots from harm, and summon the ghosties. The idiots put a floating ring and stars in the water to protect them, then the fool dove down to the bottom while the gay and fat guys went on shore to summon the ghosts that inhabited the lake. (I have to admit, the concept behind the haunted lake was pretty cool, but, still, it by no means takes away from the fact that these guys are blatant morons.) A friend of mine from work said that the ring in the water used to counter the ghosts reminded him of the episode of Spongebob Square Pants where Spongebob drew a ring in the sand to protect him and Patrick from a Sea Bear. This was about as realistic as a Spongebob episode, too. In the beginning of this part of the show, the fools were looking over the edge of the water with their flashlights when suddenly something broke the surface of the water pretty close and caused a serious splash. They freaked and chalked it up as paranormal activity. Clearly these morons never went fishing at night with their father or else they would be well aware that a light near the surface of the water will attract fish!! F, these guys are down right stupid!
In the end there was a lot of "What was that?!" and "Something just pushed me, dude" and "I saw something!!!" when the camera was pointed the other way. There was very little in the way of evidence caught...a shadow moving and some banging sounds that could have been the film crew, and a lot of spook-show, hocus-pocus BS.
How does this show compare to Ghost Hunters? This show makes Ghost Hunters look like genuine scientific research, and people who know me know how much I HATE ghost hunters these days. In a world where paranormal investigation is not taken seriously at all, this piece of s**** program puts the entire concept of paranormal investigation back to the stone age. Yeah, with magic incantations and whoody-whoo BS and all. I loathe this program, and anybody with any kind of serious streak in them will avoid the show like the plague. Let it wither and die so we can all pretend it never happened.
(BTW, this was the seriously edited version of my view of the program. The unedited version is on my blog. It just has the curse-worse in it so you're not missing any of my rant.)
