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The Anonymous war on Scientology
- Thread starter mike
- Start date
skunkape
Paranormal Maven
J.R. "Bob" Dobbs was the guy who sold Hubbard the crank that made him imagine that crap.
This is part 1 of a 25 part outdoctrination program.
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This is part 1 of a 25 part outdoctrination program.
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skunkape
Paranormal Maven
Magick and Scientology...did Hubby create a dimensional portal with totally gay shenanigans?
http://www.mystae.com/streams/gnosis/magick.html
http://www.mystae.com/streams/gnosis/magick.html
cindysue
Skilled Investigator
Bixy, I'd love to read your story. I am fascinated by all of this... By the way, thanks for sharing this with us
Ok guys, you asked for it! Now, my story is TAME compared to those who were in for 20 and 30 yrs (We were in for a total of 13 yrs, Staff for four of them). I personally know others both Staff and Sea Org who were forced to have abortions, were used as slave labor/child labor, etc! But here's just a snapshot of some of my story: (It was written for another board).
(This was about 14 years ago now).
Please hit your refresh button before (and probably right after) reading, because I keep adding/editing.
I'm sooooo TIRED of holding this and other stories silent for ALL these years, this is downright insanity to FEAR them!!
When they were supposed to be the 'answer' to all problems and the salvation of mankind? Huh?! NOT
I started out as Mission Staff training to be in Div 6 there, for about a year. Then it folded and I moved to the nearest Class V Org and started out as a Div 6 Post there. (Div 6 is the Division in charge of getting 'New People interested in dn and $cn) and met my Senior (who later became my hubby.
For the first year, we loved our jobs...loved the idea of helping people in this deep, eternal way, you know?
We felt sooo special and elite and different from the 'wog' world. (wog means 'non-scn's, but is more loosely used almost as a derogitive term by scn's)
We worked with good people around us. We loved nearly all of them.
At first, I moonlighted (worked a day job outside the Org) and was Foundation staff, (worked only evenings at the Org) as was my Senior. (boss)
My Senior was also my 'Buddy' and helped relocate me, and move me and my things into my tiny, nasty cat-spray reeking studio apartment a few blocks from the Org.
We loved the acting ED (Executive Director, the main head/boss over the entire Org) we had at first, but he was just filling in for the Hitler-like beady-eyed ED, who came back from OEC/FEBC (advanced business training basically) training in all their glory...and fire.
Then, things got real serious and high-pressure real quick.....
We were 'persuaded' to come on Full, Fulltime (you say both 'fulls' to mean working both Day and Foundation hours) to 'Clear The Planet' faster,etc...(so we worked from 8 am to 11pm-12am)
We started working 76-hour weeks, making an average of $70.00 a week the entire three years we were there.
We had to run everywhere on post, even in place if we were standing talking to New People, etc.
A few times, the entire Org Staff in full-dress wear were made to run around the block and Org during the day and with lunch-rush crowds around us. We got many strange looks.
We had dress inspections, had to stand at attention, and At Ease in Musters..(We were NOT Sea Org, nor was it run by an SO ED...). We had to address our female ED as 'Sir' at all times.
Our nerves were wound up tighter than tight and all of us had frazzled, haggard, desperate looks on our faces....
A typical day for me was: I'd get done from receiving a yelling/degrade from one of my Seniors, then walk around the corner with the happiest, widest smile on my face for the New Person waiting to get their Test Results or Session from me and be routed onto the best Tech on the Planet!
One of the top executes, a GREAT guy!) was so pressured to help the Divisions get their Stats up...
(we'd be squeezed into small rooms lined with long tables, with phones in a row and do call-in boiler-room style.
Don't take your finger off the hang-up button between calls, no pauses except to go the bathroom and you better run while doing that or else! And no dinner, till you had certain quota of appts, too. etc,etc.)
A mere few months later, this Executive was found nearly dead in a car rigged to fill up with carbon monoxide.
Then after, this Executive was 'Babysat' 'Watched'. And was physically prevented from several other suicide attempts.
Finally this person was audited out of the key-in and was removed off Staff lines and offloaded into the wog world....(We found out the person is ok, btw..and still a scn!!!??)
When our Stats were down, we were insulted and yelled at constantly and literally looked down at.
By this point, I performed most Div 6 functions (called 'Running The Front Line'), some times, alone. Mainly due to being so understaffed and Seniors being in meetings all the time, or New People would come in during our dinner and I and my 6A Senior would stay thru dinner, grab a quick bite while the rest of the Org was in Staff Muster, then back on Post.
I also quickly became bi-lingual as I'd excelled at Foreign Languages in school.
So I was frequently used as a Translator for other Reg cycles, etc.
I actually loved this part, since languages was one of my passions and I viewed the opportunities as a free school to excell further in it
Yet as a result of that and being upstat most times, I was forcefully removed from my post in Div 6A and made to become the DPR (Dir Pub Reg) in Div 6B.
Me and my direct Senior hated this and fought it all the way. I was mostly upstat and a very willing person to do Div 6 gruntwork, that many others didn't want to do. He didn't want to lose me. He was a good Senior to me, too. All in all.
Well turns out, I performed both Div 6A and 6B posts...again, many times by myself.
I, myself bodyrouted anywhere between 50-100 people a week.
Usually around 60-70 was my average.
I'd bodyroute the person in, grade the OCA,(personality test) eval them, audit them their Free Dn session, then Reg them. Most times in Spanish.
(I was not a very good Reg in either language tho, as not very many people signed up...maybe 5-10 per week from me, about 40-50 for the week by all combined).
The fact that so many New People walked back out that door after I worked so hard to get them in, would hurt.
Course, I know it was MY fault, and was often crammed, was routed onto the Pro-Reg course, did Vol 0, etc..and was better, but still stats weren't 'where they should be'...(they never are, per scn)
Yet the hurt would run even deeper....I'd ruined their chance at Eternity, you know?
Try sleeping peacefully each night after every day like that!?
After being in Div 6B, I'd talk more often about Leaving to my former Senior.
But during those particular months, he was happy with his job (I was too before I was jerked out 6A)and dutifully talked me out of it.
(Along this time, me and my 6A and 6B Seniors all moved in as roommates in a house of a Public who'd moved and allowed us use of their house.
I was usually upstat on my post, and one time due to this, I was 'awarded' by the ED, a trip to an outer Org to complete my Student Hat that I was mid,and retread Vol 0. (a very thick book of how to run a scn business, basically)
Now since I was within 6 months of finishing my 2 and half year contract, I had to sign a new 5 yr one before I could go on this 'upstat awarded' trip.
I didn't want to sign it, yet was told by HCO (the division in charge of signing up people on Staff and keeping their contracts re-signed) to sign it now then we'll 'talk about it' when I got back..yes I'm gullible aren't I?
Well of course, the stupid thing was binding, and there we go. The trip was also charged and I have that added onto my FL (Freeloader) debt. (What an 'award' eh?) The whole thing was a ploy between HCO and ED to resign me, nice.
Ok, onward here:
During our years on staff, me and my former 6A Senior started dating and became engaged.
Months later, we were married by the PES in the Org's new Div 6 Courseroom
(not even finished from the 2nd Reno done on it. We had to beg the head of the SO reno crew to let us marry in it) on New Years Eve day, PRECISELY so we could get out of going to the New Years Event each year!
We had to save about two months of our salary just to afford our scn infinity symbol silver wedding rings! (still have them, but wear different wedding set now).
Our wedding pictures look sad...as we had serious, unhappy-looking expressions on our faces!
It was due to barely getting that day off Post to even be allowed to get married!
We spent our Honeymoon at a local cheap hotel down the street, paid for by my parents who were at the wedding, and they stayed in the room next door.
Then we were back on Post on Jan 2nd.
For a Honeymoon present,my parents paid for a studio apartment for us that was less than a block from the Org, this was perfect since we had no car...regrettably, we had to move out within 3 months due to having no money to pay the rent,utilities, etc. So we had to move into yet another shared house with two other roommates. (Also Staff)
Financially life was really difficult.
Some weeks, we'd receive no pay at all. We only got money from either selling Dn books on the street (keeping the book money instead of turning it all into the Org like you're supposed to, yet intending to pay it back, HONEST, we just wanted some money to eat food with
When we did have a few bucks, there was a deli in a nearby grocery store, and for a cheap lunch, we'd go there and get their thanksgiving-style meal deal, and luckily the nice deli clerk would PILE the food in a takeout container and me and hubby would GRUB it, and then make it last for days! Neither one of could afford to lose any weight, so it was actually a hand-to-mouth kind of existence, foodwise!
Sometimes at events, we'd grub from the food that was meant for the Public, that was cool.
In many ways, Staff life was much harder than Sea Org life,(they lived like a psuedo Navy complete with Naval-like Uniforms, berthing, etc). 'Cuz SO had a bed and food provided for them, where as we Staff had to work AND somehow pay for our food, an apartment or a room with others and pay our share, etc.. this was nearly impossible to do..unless you were a cutthroat Reg and/or sold books like crazy to everybody that walked! (Commissions).
But SO's lived their lives in 24/7 where as we had a few hours of privacy/sleep, I guess.
We never did get enough sleep or rest, though. I was frequently told to wear make up due to my dark circles and pale skin.
Most of the staff lived on strong cuban coffee and cigarettes.
(I was one of the few Staff who did not smoke).
Ok, fast forward to the night we blew. (scn word for awol)
I think it was on a Sat night. We got off Post around 6pm. We'd just finished moving into the tiny bedroom of the house we were now sharing with two other roommates, also Staff.
At that time, I was in the middle of receiving Auditing (counselling) and was actually starting to settle into Staff life and not thinking about Leaving this night.....
Hubby was stewing in quiet anger this night due to getting into it earlier that day with a couple of other Executives about something.
I'd wanted to leave off and on for a good year, but kept being talked out of it.
Anways: he explained to me the story that broke the camel's back for him..so the decision was made by both of us to leave.
Our hearts never quit pounding from that moment onward...lasting at least a week!
So hubby went to a payphone, and an instant flight was arranged for THAT NIGHT by loving family (You know THAT cost a pretty penny!).
So the next step was getting out of our house silently.
Remember we lived in a house with other roommates (also Staff).
We packed what we could in suitcases and left everything else (furniture that I loved, clothes,etc..).
A cab was called and we waited in tense silence in our tiny room for it to arrive, praying none of our roommates would notice or hear anything.
Once it arrived, I was the first one to sneak out into the hallway with my large suitcase. The pounding of my heart was so loud, I'm surprised it didn't give me away!.
I made it outside.
The cool night air smelled fresher than ever before.
I looked up into the Night Sky.
The stars were sparkling and winking down on me, as if to say:
'You've done it, You're FREE, GO!'
Then hubby sneaked out, it felt like FOREVER, then the front door was opened...for a second, my heart stopped.
Maybe it wasn't him! Maybe it was a roommate come to get me and turn us in!
But it wasn't.
It was my honey, out safe and sound, too.
We didn't even glance back as we were whisked away by the cab to the airport.
I was so scared, I thought maybe the cab driver was a Plant and would any minute turn around and take us back home or to Ethics, lol!
We got to the airport and boarded the plane,after a HORRID few hours wait-time... constantly looking over our shoulders.
I can't believe how like Fugitives we felt! Like we were criminals running away from the Police, Jeez!
We got to our destination and into loving arms.
Thank GOD hubby didn't get any of his family ( nor me, mine) into Scn, Thank GOD!
We literally huddled, shaking, on the floor of the living room for hours when we arrived,staring at the front door, expecting a knock, for 'them' to take us back.
After we calmed down and could breathe again, we WALKED MILES to a nearby mall just to stay extroverted, fearing EVERY car on street whizzing by us, was 'them' following us....lol.
Yet the utter RELIEF was indescribable, you guys.
The SCENT of FREEDOM from the 80 hr work-weeks. The starvation, the ethics, the crazy things we were made to do for our Post or Org,etc...staying up till 2am being told how scum we were by our ED then come in a few hrs later to work..etc
In the days and weeks that followed, phone calls were made to our place and at first they were told we weren't there,etc.
We could feel that they had us 'tailed' and we were right. Because a few weeks later, they knocked on the door.
We were such paranoid sissys that we both hid from them till they left.
They even looked through all the windows looking for us! Hubby was hiding in one room and I was in another.
It was soooo humiliating for us, but we were not ready to face them, nor did we want to go back.
Well a few days later somehow we were convinced to let them in and they audited us in our bedroom, one by one.
(We were both in the middle of different auditing actions at the time we blew).
They convinced us to go back and route out standardly. (where you do steps and get 'security checked' on a meter any 'crimes' you had
against scn/staff, etc.
*STUPID thing to do!*
We rented a car and did so.
Well: Not only was the route-out cycle MUCH longer than it should've been, but it was VERY expensive AND we ended up keeping the rental car too long, so long the rental company was calling us everyday to bring it back!
All in all, a very stressful, dreadful time.
We were assigned 'Confusion', dubbed Degraded Beings, Freeloaders, and informed we would 'die out there'.
What a lovely send-off after all we'd done for them, eh?
That last night we were routing off: Hubby and I were separated in different rooms and lectured at for over two hours.
My tiny room was FREEZING and I had a short-sleeved shirt on.
I was SO cold, that I was literally seizing!
The OT V, L's Comp (Operating Thetan level Five, who'd also done another supposed 'powerful' course that enhances one
superpowers,...a supposed advanced 'being' went high up the 'bridge) didn't care, NO!
(Come to think of it, very few OT's we'd met were glowing products of what $300,000 could get ya)
I just sat and stared at this supposed advanced, powerful 'OT'...
Every single person was being listed to me, that was Staff/Public that left and had died, or got cancer, divorced, couldn't get any job,etc..all because they left Staff, or weren't active Public!
The whole time, I was shivering so bad and trying to keep my TRs (Training Routines that help with confront/concentration/communication) in to the tirade.
I kept screaming things at the person in my mind and waiting for the person to read it.
Oh, Come on, You're OT V, L's and you CAN'T even do something as simple as READ MY MIND and you WANT ME TO STAY?!
I felt sad for this person trying to get me to stay. But mostly I was severely introverted,trying to keep warm and control the convulsions of
my body, from the cold.
They also tried to make my spouse leave me there and not take me back by telling of some long ago mild out2d (to do with relationships) withholds. (secrets)
It didn't work. But they tried. THAT was hell, too
And you know WHAT? After ALL this, we went back home...made new lives, yet STILL considered ourselves dedicated (tho unworthy) FreeLoader Scientologists and went to Events, helped out at the Mission near us, etc!!??
WELL: A few years ago, my spouse got up the nerve to read stuff on Xenutv about the OTs that left. I was very reluctant and scared to, but finally did it. (You are told that if you so much as read any of the 'OT' information before you are at that level, that you will DIE or at the very least
become gravely ill with severe pneumonia type illness)
For a long time even while reading this stuff, my mind still 'justified' the data and stories..(well they had heavy case, had mu's, etc,etc..).
But it still kept me thinking...I wasn't yet ready to 'get out'.
The info of scn was just TOO good, spanned over one lifetime, etc. to 'give up'.
After all, if I DID give it up,
THEN WHAT? You know? I mean, I'd die and that'd be it. (vs what scn promises you about having OT knowledge and powers, no forgetters, etc you could control what bodies you were born into from then on while keeping your ot powers, etc....)..
Regardless: About four years ago now, (2004)
We actually took the plunge and decided to read ANY/ALL OT level info on the Net!
WE personally were SO scared, that we were gonna DIE upon or immediately after reading it, that we actually made a hand-written Will for the person who'd find our dead bodies....before reading, it.
We made sure to read every word in tandem in case there would be a moment that we'd start to become very ill or suddenly die. (Pathetic, I know, but we weren't laughing at the time!)
Well needless to say, we're still here, (anyone still believe the church's crap that it isn't the 'real' stuff or else we would've?) and ever since then.... we LEFT and are OUT as of heart, mind, soul, etc.
Since then, I've accomplished MANY goals...
I now work a job I love, and hubby and I have owned a successful business for many years now.
We've also since realized that there is no such thing as an 'evil SP' in the terms the Church described. I mean, just because we're 'out' now...do we now hate people, want to hurt them, steal, maim, pillage?
No! We still LOVE people, love being kind, helpful and we are happier, more successful in our lives, too?!
*gasp* Where's our damnation?!
I do have a dear friend that's still in and we talk regularly and this friend knows I'm inactive and all, but not HOW inactive, lol
I'd hate to lose this person, but if I end up getting found out/declared soon..then so be it,
Sad that you have to be this way with this 'wonderful, helpful loving religion' eh?
But bottom line is: the treatment of Staff/SO/children in this religion right there, proves its built on lies. And is a flat-out, insidious CULT!
We've since realized how worthy we truly are.
(despite the guilt-trips from Staff,Leaving,etc).
How much more successful we are in life
And most of all: How KIND 'wogs' are to us,
HUGS Hugs and more Hugs to this board, to my friends here, and to Anon.
Thank you for reading my long story.
I will post more as more memories come to me.
(This was about 14 years ago now).
Please hit your refresh button before (and probably right after) reading, because I keep adding/editing.
I'm sooooo TIRED of holding this and other stories silent for ALL these years, this is downright insanity to FEAR them!!
When they were supposed to be the 'answer' to all problems and the salvation of mankind? Huh?! NOT
I started out as Mission Staff training to be in Div 6 there, for about a year. Then it folded and I moved to the nearest Class V Org and started out as a Div 6 Post there. (Div 6 is the Division in charge of getting 'New People interested in dn and $cn) and met my Senior (who later became my hubby.
For the first year, we loved our jobs...loved the idea of helping people in this deep, eternal way, you know?
We felt sooo special and elite and different from the 'wog' world. (wog means 'non-scn's, but is more loosely used almost as a derogitive term by scn's)
We worked with good people around us. We loved nearly all of them.
At first, I moonlighted (worked a day job outside the Org) and was Foundation staff, (worked only evenings at the Org) as was my Senior. (boss)
My Senior was also my 'Buddy' and helped relocate me, and move me and my things into my tiny, nasty cat-spray reeking studio apartment a few blocks from the Org.
We loved the acting ED (Executive Director, the main head/boss over the entire Org) we had at first, but he was just filling in for the Hitler-like beady-eyed ED, who came back from OEC/FEBC (advanced business training basically) training in all their glory...and fire.
Then, things got real serious and high-pressure real quick.....
We were 'persuaded' to come on Full, Fulltime (you say both 'fulls' to mean working both Day and Foundation hours) to 'Clear The Planet' faster,etc...(so we worked from 8 am to 11pm-12am)
We started working 76-hour weeks, making an average of $70.00 a week the entire three years we were there.
We had to run everywhere on post, even in place if we were standing talking to New People, etc.
A few times, the entire Org Staff in full-dress wear were made to run around the block and Org during the day and with lunch-rush crowds around us. We got many strange looks.
We had dress inspections, had to stand at attention, and At Ease in Musters..(We were NOT Sea Org, nor was it run by an SO ED...). We had to address our female ED as 'Sir' at all times.
Our nerves were wound up tighter than tight and all of us had frazzled, haggard, desperate looks on our faces....
A typical day for me was: I'd get done from receiving a yelling/degrade from one of my Seniors, then walk around the corner with the happiest, widest smile on my face for the New Person waiting to get their Test Results or Session from me and be routed onto the best Tech on the Planet!
One of the top executes, a GREAT guy!) was so pressured to help the Divisions get their Stats up...
(we'd be squeezed into small rooms lined with long tables, with phones in a row and do call-in boiler-room style.
Don't take your finger off the hang-up button between calls, no pauses except to go the bathroom and you better run while doing that or else! And no dinner, till you had certain quota of appts, too. etc,etc.)
A mere few months later, this Executive was found nearly dead in a car rigged to fill up with carbon monoxide.
Then after, this Executive was 'Babysat' 'Watched'. And was physically prevented from several other suicide attempts.
Finally this person was audited out of the key-in and was removed off Staff lines and offloaded into the wog world....(We found out the person is ok, btw..and still a scn!!!??)
When our Stats were down, we were insulted and yelled at constantly and literally looked down at.
By this point, I performed most Div 6 functions (called 'Running The Front Line'), some times, alone. Mainly due to being so understaffed and Seniors being in meetings all the time, or New People would come in during our dinner and I and my 6A Senior would stay thru dinner, grab a quick bite while the rest of the Org was in Staff Muster, then back on Post.
I also quickly became bi-lingual as I'd excelled at Foreign Languages in school.
So I was frequently used as a Translator for other Reg cycles, etc.
I actually loved this part, since languages was one of my passions and I viewed the opportunities as a free school to excell further in it
Yet as a result of that and being upstat most times, I was forcefully removed from my post in Div 6A and made to become the DPR (Dir Pub Reg) in Div 6B.
Me and my direct Senior hated this and fought it all the way. I was mostly upstat and a very willing person to do Div 6 gruntwork, that many others didn't want to do. He didn't want to lose me. He was a good Senior to me, too. All in all.
Well turns out, I performed both Div 6A and 6B posts...again, many times by myself.
I, myself bodyrouted anywhere between 50-100 people a week.
Usually around 60-70 was my average.
I'd bodyroute the person in, grade the OCA,(personality test) eval them, audit them their Free Dn session, then Reg them. Most times in Spanish.
(I was not a very good Reg in either language tho, as not very many people signed up...maybe 5-10 per week from me, about 40-50 for the week by all combined).
The fact that so many New People walked back out that door after I worked so hard to get them in, would hurt.
Course, I know it was MY fault, and was often crammed, was routed onto the Pro-Reg course, did Vol 0, etc..and was better, but still stats weren't 'where they should be'...(they never are, per scn)
Yet the hurt would run even deeper....I'd ruined their chance at Eternity, you know?
Try sleeping peacefully each night after every day like that!?
After being in Div 6B, I'd talk more often about Leaving to my former Senior.
But during those particular months, he was happy with his job (I was too before I was jerked out 6A)and dutifully talked me out of it.
(Along this time, me and my 6A and 6B Seniors all moved in as roommates in a house of a Public who'd moved and allowed us use of their house.
I was usually upstat on my post, and one time due to this, I was 'awarded' by the ED, a trip to an outer Org to complete my Student Hat that I was mid,and retread Vol 0. (a very thick book of how to run a scn business, basically)
Now since I was within 6 months of finishing my 2 and half year contract, I had to sign a new 5 yr one before I could go on this 'upstat awarded' trip.
I didn't want to sign it, yet was told by HCO (the division in charge of signing up people on Staff and keeping their contracts re-signed) to sign it now then we'll 'talk about it' when I got back..yes I'm gullible aren't I?
Well of course, the stupid thing was binding, and there we go. The trip was also charged and I have that added onto my FL (Freeloader) debt. (What an 'award' eh?) The whole thing was a ploy between HCO and ED to resign me, nice.
Ok, onward here:
During our years on staff, me and my former 6A Senior started dating and became engaged.
Months later, we were married by the PES in the Org's new Div 6 Courseroom
(not even finished from the 2nd Reno done on it. We had to beg the head of the SO reno crew to let us marry in it) on New Years Eve day, PRECISELY so we could get out of going to the New Years Event each year!
We had to save about two months of our salary just to afford our scn infinity symbol silver wedding rings! (still have them, but wear different wedding set now).
Our wedding pictures look sad...as we had serious, unhappy-looking expressions on our faces!
It was due to barely getting that day off Post to even be allowed to get married!
We spent our Honeymoon at a local cheap hotel down the street, paid for by my parents who were at the wedding, and they stayed in the room next door.
Then we were back on Post on Jan 2nd.
For a Honeymoon present,my parents paid for a studio apartment for us that was less than a block from the Org, this was perfect since we had no car...regrettably, we had to move out within 3 months due to having no money to pay the rent,utilities, etc. So we had to move into yet another shared house with two other roommates. (Also Staff)
Financially life was really difficult.
Some weeks, we'd receive no pay at all. We only got money from either selling Dn books on the street (keeping the book money instead of turning it all into the Org like you're supposed to, yet intending to pay it back, HONEST, we just wanted some money to eat food with
When we did have a few bucks, there was a deli in a nearby grocery store, and for a cheap lunch, we'd go there and get their thanksgiving-style meal deal, and luckily the nice deli clerk would PILE the food in a takeout container and me and hubby would GRUB it, and then make it last for days! Neither one of could afford to lose any weight, so it was actually a hand-to-mouth kind of existence, foodwise!
Sometimes at events, we'd grub from the food that was meant for the Public, that was cool.
In many ways, Staff life was much harder than Sea Org life,(they lived like a psuedo Navy complete with Naval-like Uniforms, berthing, etc). 'Cuz SO had a bed and food provided for them, where as we Staff had to work AND somehow pay for our food, an apartment or a room with others and pay our share, etc.. this was nearly impossible to do..unless you were a cutthroat Reg and/or sold books like crazy to everybody that walked! (Commissions).
But SO's lived their lives in 24/7 where as we had a few hours of privacy/sleep, I guess.
We never did get enough sleep or rest, though. I was frequently told to wear make up due to my dark circles and pale skin.
Most of the staff lived on strong cuban coffee and cigarettes.
(I was one of the few Staff who did not smoke).
Ok, fast forward to the night we blew. (scn word for awol)
I think it was on a Sat night. We got off Post around 6pm. We'd just finished moving into the tiny bedroom of the house we were now sharing with two other roommates, also Staff.
At that time, I was in the middle of receiving Auditing (counselling) and was actually starting to settle into Staff life and not thinking about Leaving this night.....
Hubby was stewing in quiet anger this night due to getting into it earlier that day with a couple of other Executives about something.
I'd wanted to leave off and on for a good year, but kept being talked out of it.
Anways: he explained to me the story that broke the camel's back for him..so the decision was made by both of us to leave.
Our hearts never quit pounding from that moment onward...lasting at least a week!
So hubby went to a payphone, and an instant flight was arranged for THAT NIGHT by loving family (You know THAT cost a pretty penny!).
So the next step was getting out of our house silently.
Remember we lived in a house with other roommates (also Staff).
We packed what we could in suitcases and left everything else (furniture that I loved, clothes,etc..).
A cab was called and we waited in tense silence in our tiny room for it to arrive, praying none of our roommates would notice or hear anything.
Once it arrived, I was the first one to sneak out into the hallway with my large suitcase. The pounding of my heart was so loud, I'm surprised it didn't give me away!.
I made it outside.
The cool night air smelled fresher than ever before.
I looked up into the Night Sky.
The stars were sparkling and winking down on me, as if to say:
'You've done it, You're FREE, GO!'
Then hubby sneaked out, it felt like FOREVER, then the front door was opened...for a second, my heart stopped.
Maybe it wasn't him! Maybe it was a roommate come to get me and turn us in!
But it wasn't.
It was my honey, out safe and sound, too.
We didn't even glance back as we were whisked away by the cab to the airport.
I was so scared, I thought maybe the cab driver was a Plant and would any minute turn around and take us back home or to Ethics, lol!
We got to the airport and boarded the plane,after a HORRID few hours wait-time... constantly looking over our shoulders.
I can't believe how like Fugitives we felt! Like we were criminals running away from the Police, Jeez!
We got to our destination and into loving arms.
Thank GOD hubby didn't get any of his family ( nor me, mine) into Scn, Thank GOD!
We literally huddled, shaking, on the floor of the living room for hours when we arrived,staring at the front door, expecting a knock, for 'them' to take us back.
After we calmed down and could breathe again, we WALKED MILES to a nearby mall just to stay extroverted, fearing EVERY car on street whizzing by us, was 'them' following us....lol.
Yet the utter RELIEF was indescribable, you guys.
The SCENT of FREEDOM from the 80 hr work-weeks. The starvation, the ethics, the crazy things we were made to do for our Post or Org,etc...staying up till 2am being told how scum we were by our ED then come in a few hrs later to work..etc
In the days and weeks that followed, phone calls were made to our place and at first they were told we weren't there,etc.
We could feel that they had us 'tailed' and we were right. Because a few weeks later, they knocked on the door.
We were such paranoid sissys that we both hid from them till they left.
They even looked through all the windows looking for us! Hubby was hiding in one room and I was in another.
It was soooo humiliating for us, but we were not ready to face them, nor did we want to go back.
Well a few days later somehow we were convinced to let them in and they audited us in our bedroom, one by one.
(We were both in the middle of different auditing actions at the time we blew).
They convinced us to go back and route out standardly. (where you do steps and get 'security checked' on a meter any 'crimes' you had
against scn/staff, etc.
*STUPID thing to do!*
We rented a car and did so.
Well: Not only was the route-out cycle MUCH longer than it should've been, but it was VERY expensive AND we ended up keeping the rental car too long, so long the rental company was calling us everyday to bring it back!
All in all, a very stressful, dreadful time.
We were assigned 'Confusion', dubbed Degraded Beings, Freeloaders, and informed we would 'die out there'.
What a lovely send-off after all we'd done for them, eh?
That last night we were routing off: Hubby and I were separated in different rooms and lectured at for over two hours.
My tiny room was FREEZING and I had a short-sleeved shirt on.
I was SO cold, that I was literally seizing!
The OT V, L's Comp (Operating Thetan level Five, who'd also done another supposed 'powerful' course that enhances one
superpowers,...a supposed advanced 'being' went high up the 'bridge) didn't care, NO!
(Come to think of it, very few OT's we'd met were glowing products of what $300,000 could get ya)
I just sat and stared at this supposed advanced, powerful 'OT'...
Every single person was being listed to me, that was Staff/Public that left and had died, or got cancer, divorced, couldn't get any job,etc..all because they left Staff, or weren't active Public!
The whole time, I was shivering so bad and trying to keep my TRs (Training Routines that help with confront/concentration/communication) in to the tirade.
I kept screaming things at the person in my mind and waiting for the person to read it.
Oh, Come on, You're OT V, L's and you CAN'T even do something as simple as READ MY MIND and you WANT ME TO STAY?!
I felt sad for this person trying to get me to stay. But mostly I was severely introverted,trying to keep warm and control the convulsions of
my body, from the cold.
They also tried to make my spouse leave me there and not take me back by telling of some long ago mild out2d (to do with relationships) withholds. (secrets)
It didn't work. But they tried. THAT was hell, too
And you know WHAT? After ALL this, we went back home...made new lives, yet STILL considered ourselves dedicated (tho unworthy) FreeLoader Scientologists and went to Events, helped out at the Mission near us, etc!!??
WELL: A few years ago, my spouse got up the nerve to read stuff on Xenutv about the OTs that left. I was very reluctant and scared to, but finally did it. (You are told that if you so much as read any of the 'OT' information before you are at that level, that you will DIE or at the very least
become gravely ill with severe pneumonia type illness)
For a long time even while reading this stuff, my mind still 'justified' the data and stories..(well they had heavy case, had mu's, etc,etc..).
But it still kept me thinking...I wasn't yet ready to 'get out'.
The info of scn was just TOO good, spanned over one lifetime, etc. to 'give up'.
After all, if I DID give it up,
THEN WHAT? You know? I mean, I'd die and that'd be it. (vs what scn promises you about having OT knowledge and powers, no forgetters, etc you could control what bodies you were born into from then on while keeping your ot powers, etc....)..
Regardless: About four years ago now, (2004)
We actually took the plunge and decided to read ANY/ALL OT level info on the Net!
WE personally were SO scared, that we were gonna DIE upon or immediately after reading it, that we actually made a hand-written Will for the person who'd find our dead bodies....before reading, it.
We made sure to read every word in tandem in case there would be a moment that we'd start to become very ill or suddenly die. (Pathetic, I know, but we weren't laughing at the time!)
Well needless to say, we're still here, (anyone still believe the church's crap that it isn't the 'real' stuff or else we would've?) and ever since then.... we LEFT and are OUT as of heart, mind, soul, etc.
Since then, I've accomplished MANY goals...
I now work a job I love, and hubby and I have owned a successful business for many years now.
We've also since realized that there is no such thing as an 'evil SP' in the terms the Church described. I mean, just because we're 'out' now...do we now hate people, want to hurt them, steal, maim, pillage?
No! We still LOVE people, love being kind, helpful and we are happier, more successful in our lives, too?!
*gasp* Where's our damnation?!
I do have a dear friend that's still in and we talk regularly and this friend knows I'm inactive and all, but not HOW inactive, lol
I'd hate to lose this person, but if I end up getting found out/declared soon..then so be it,
Sad that you have to be this way with this 'wonderful, helpful loving religion' eh?
But bottom line is: the treatment of Staff/SO/children in this religion right there, proves its built on lies. And is a flat-out, insidious CULT!
We've since realized how worthy we truly are.
(despite the guilt-trips from Staff,Leaving,etc).
How much more successful we are in life
And most of all: How KIND 'wogs' are to us,
HUGS Hugs and more Hugs to this board, to my friends here, and to Anon.
Thank you for reading my long story.
I will post more as more memories come to me.
Ezechiel
Paranormal Adept
Thanks for the story !. Now that's some frightening stuff !
This would definitely make a scarier movie than the return of the bodysnatchers !
Of course, if the government started delving into matters like this, you'd have a furious uproar from other mind numbing groups like Jehovah witnesses, latter day saints, off-path and bizarre christian sects... etc.
They can operate relatively freely in the U.S. and Canada. Germany is a good model to follow !
Thanks for reading it you guys. I've edited out a lot of details in it for several reasons, also you have a word-limit, so had to shorten it considerably.
My story I feel didn't impart very well the constant, high levels of fear that we felt while on Staff. We were scurrying around madly the entire three years always making sure our Stats were up from the week before (they were due to be reported in every single week on Thursday at exactly 2 pm (in respective Time Zones).
I used to have to do things like pick up all the thousands of cigarette butts out in and around the parking lots or front area of our org, or had to stay up even later to do some extra task to 'make up the damage' kinda thing.
When you were really downstat, you had to do something sorta akin to public confessions, you wrote down on paper what you feel you did, thought, etc that may have contributed to your down stats and then every person in the org (over 80 of them when we were there) had to read what you wrote and 'sign it as approved or disapproved'). Talk about humiliation!
Also what happened alot (mostly to Executives or Sea Org Executives) was something called 'Gang Bang Sec Checks' This was where the supposed 'wrongdoer' was made to hold these two metal soup cans that are connected to a meter that supposedly 'read' your 'secrets' basically. (Called an 'E-Meter') and you were made to 'confess crimes you did to scn' (called a 'Security Check or Sec Check for short') while several intimidating people were standing around you, yelling at you, watching the reactions on the meter (which always is faced away from the wrongdoer, btw). VERY intimidating and humiliating stuff, let me tell you!! These would last hours.
You all should search for Marc Headley on YouTube. HIS story is VERY compelling! He can tell you about Gang Bang Sec Checks, I'm sure! (he's even releasing a book, let me know if ya want details on getting that). I posted one of his vids here at The Paracast on another Thread....(BBC and Scientology it was called or some such thing).
But he was one of THE TOP Sea Org Executives and he details physical, mental and spiritual abuse, etc !
My story I feel didn't impart very well the constant, high levels of fear that we felt while on Staff. We were scurrying around madly the entire three years always making sure our Stats were up from the week before (they were due to be reported in every single week on Thursday at exactly 2 pm (in respective Time Zones).
I used to have to do things like pick up all the thousands of cigarette butts out in and around the parking lots or front area of our org, or had to stay up even later to do some extra task to 'make up the damage' kinda thing.
When you were really downstat, you had to do something sorta akin to public confessions, you wrote down on paper what you feel you did, thought, etc that may have contributed to your down stats and then every person in the org (over 80 of them when we were there) had to read what you wrote and 'sign it as approved or disapproved'). Talk about humiliation!
Also what happened alot (mostly to Executives or Sea Org Executives) was something called 'Gang Bang Sec Checks' This was where the supposed 'wrongdoer' was made to hold these two metal soup cans that are connected to a meter that supposedly 'read' your 'secrets' basically. (Called an 'E-Meter') and you were made to 'confess crimes you did to scn' (called a 'Security Check or Sec Check for short') while several intimidating people were standing around you, yelling at you, watching the reactions on the meter (which always is faced away from the wrongdoer, btw). VERY intimidating and humiliating stuff, let me tell you!! These would last hours.
You all should search for Marc Headley on YouTube. HIS story is VERY compelling! He can tell you about Gang Bang Sec Checks, I'm sure! (he's even releasing a book, let me know if ya want details on getting that). I posted one of his vids here at The Paracast on another Thread....(BBC and Scientology it was called or some such thing).
But he was one of THE TOP Sea Org Executives and he details physical, mental and spiritual abuse, etc !
*giggle* Yeah, make sure you piss on their Ethics Book! lol
Some other facts many didn't know about $cn:
L. Con Blubbard the creator and founder of $cn who 'researched and did' all the 'bridge' (there are 15 ot levels, only 8 are released). Well gee, if these ot levels are really worth slaving away as Staff or Sea Org for, or paying over 300 grand for, etc. and you are all powerful, etc. then WHY did L. Con Blubbard DIE with a PSYCH drug (something all $cn's are rabidly against, btw) Vistaril in his system? HE wasn't 'ot enough' to stop this? lol!
And why did he become sick in the first place, anyways? WHY bother doin' ot levels in the first place if ya still have the same problems in life everyone else has? Ya know? But do $cn's ever know any of this, NO!
See, they ($cn's) are told the Net is a dangerous place full of 'false data' and of 'SP's (Suppressive People or Persons, it's like being called 'The Devil' in other religions or excommunication).
Shoot, I WANT to be declared an SP! (Not something you can ask for, btw.)
We are gonna FRAME ours, lol!
And if ya tell $cn's any of these facts, or of any mistreatment that goes on in the orgs, etc.. they justify it by sayin' 'Oh, that's not true $cn, it was the person mis-using $cn, etc..' :
Tommy Davis is lying through his teeth when he gives interviews! We were always taught to use 'acceptable truths' to 'outside people' .
L. Con Blubbard the creator and founder of $cn who 'researched and did' all the 'bridge' (there are 15 ot levels, only 8 are released). Well gee, if these ot levels are really worth slaving away as Staff or Sea Org for, or paying over 300 grand for, etc. and you are all powerful, etc. then WHY did L. Con Blubbard DIE with a PSYCH drug (something all $cn's are rabidly against, btw) Vistaril in his system? HE wasn't 'ot enough' to stop this? lol!
And why did he become sick in the first place, anyways? WHY bother doin' ot levels in the first place if ya still have the same problems in life everyone else has? Ya know? But do $cn's ever know any of this, NO!
See, they ($cn's) are told the Net is a dangerous place full of 'false data' and of 'SP's (Suppressive People or Persons, it's like being called 'The Devil' in other religions or excommunication).
Shoot, I WANT to be declared an SP! (Not something you can ask for, btw.)
We are gonna FRAME ours, lol!
And if ya tell $cn's any of these facts, or of any mistreatment that goes on in the orgs, etc.. they justify it by sayin' 'Oh, that's not true $cn, it was the person mis-using $cn, etc..' :
Tommy Davis is lying through his teeth when he gives interviews! We were always taught to use 'acceptable truths' to 'outside people' .
please be careful, the Youtubes are full of clips where $cieno's physically assault those who mess with them,
they have a known history of finding out where you live and poisoning your pets.
like the nazi's these nutbags think they are going to "clear the planet", and on a "planetary" scale little things like murder and violence are not considered a big deal "inhouse"(you can bet Tom Cruise, got a huge kick out of wearing a nazi uniform in his latest movie, a "good" nazi at that-which sums up how they feel about themselves)
thats why Anonymous wears a mask.......
if the wackjobs find out who you are and where you live, you are in for a world of hurt, they will target your workplace and employer, your neighbours and friends
and yes even your pets
Mike is correct, course I woulda warned ya too, but I figure you weren't really gonna do something like that (piss in their lobby).
Yes, OSA (Office of Special Affairs, pronounced Oh-Suh) have been known to resort to mean tactics (And yes, poisoning/killing your pets used to be one of them, don't know if they still do that, tho). They are still following certain people that are talking too much to media and like.
Yes, OSA (Office of Special Affairs, pronounced Oh-Suh) have been known to resort to mean tactics (And yes, poisoning/killing your pets used to be one of them, don't know if they still do that, tho). They are still following certain people that are talking too much to media and like.
skunkape
Paranormal Maven
Now I am really going to do it. These punks have no idea who they would be jacking with. I triple dog dare 'em to even look at me funny. I'm gonna see what they is and what they ain't made of. I get a real kick out of giving some asshole who deserves it a limp and a dentist-bill.
Now, now...it's not worth doing that, trust me!
If ya wanna do somethin' then make sure anyone ya know never gets hooked into it, or go to Protests.....
skunkape
Paranormal Maven
It's a Tonkin snub-nosed monkey...one of the rarest mammals on Earth. Cute little guy, huh?
Animal Info - Tonkin Snub-nosed Monkey
Schuyler
Misanthrope
What caliber do they come in?
skunkape
Paranormal Maven
Scientologists have a secret weapon with which they plan to conquer Washington.
Scientology: Sarah Palin Adviser's Secret Scientology Plot to Take Over Washington
Scientology: Sarah Palin Adviser's Secret Scientology Plot to Take Over Washington