Death!

[Heidi Lemmer]

I have had 4 NDE
I broke my neck twice, was buried while working in a trench and I was struck by lightning.
The first 3 I hovered over my body watching until I was "sucked" back in. The lightning knocked me out and I woke up with my left arm convulsing.
I have no fear of dying now.

holy shit!

 

[smcder]

Good topic Smcder! The other day I saw this and instead of writing something I got lost in my memories and forgot all about responding, lol. I have no final thoughts on death but instead my narrow view was yanked wide open when my best friend died from cancer. For six months we went through every step together basically getting her ready for her death. It was strange, deeply sad, mixed in with denial, anger and lots of spontaneous laughter. We got stoned, listened to everything from the Moody Blues to Kermit the Frog (rainbow connection). And every night when I went home I battled with ideas on how to help her beat this death. That was probably the most common reaction of those months, the absolute "need" to live, to keep living. The night before she died she gave me a hug and thanked me for all I'd done for the family and her. I was told that when she died she looked up and smiled and said, it's ok now. This was a huge comfort to hear, she was so scared of dying.
About a week later I had a dream where her and I were sitting on a hillside, talking....she was asking how things were and I was rattling away about mundane crap when I realized there was suddenly barbed wire between us. I said, "I guess I can't come over to that side?" and she said no but I wanted to tell you everythings good now. The next day her son came over to my apartment and told me he had the most intense dream of his mom and just needed to tell someone.
I guess I'm one of those people that doesn't need the mad scientist trailing behind me to tell me there's more to life, death, afterlife than facts bare out.

This is beautiful and so generous of you to spend that time with your friend. I'm encouraged by all the stories of people who say "it's ok now" in the last moments.

This also reminds me that we are all dying together. It's tempting to think we can't function with that thought foremost in mind - but that's true as many people live with the possibility that any given day is likely their last and we could all cultivate that awareness with practice. At the same time, there is no conflict with the absolute "need" to keep living you describe - as despair is a form of death.

But we are poor indeed if the most important thing to us is merely our own continued existence.

Thank you for sharing this.

 

[Heidi Lemmer]

This is beautiful and so generous of you to spend that time with your friend. I'm encouraged by all the stories of people who say "it's ok now" in the last moments.

This also reminds me that we are all dying together. It's tempting to think we can't function with that thought foremost in mind - but that's true as many people live with the possibility that any given day is likely their last and we could all cultivate that awareness with practice. At the same time, there is no conflict with the absolute "need" to keep living you describe - as despair is a form of death.

But we are poor indeed if the most important thing to us is merely our own continued existence.

Thank you for sharing this.

"This also reminds me that we are all dying together. It's tempting to think we can't function with that thought foremost in mind - but that's true as many people live with the possibility that any given day is likely their last and we could all cultivate that awareness with practice. "

One of the things I found that changed for me was that I was driven to learn more on a whole slate of ideas. I started meditating regular, attempted OBE's, journaled dreams and attempted to live in the moment. Granted...all this was done as a fly by hobbiest who then later piles his hobby in the garage and closes the door. I still have some books on the shelf and most of all, the memory that my life seemed the most real at the time than any other. Sometimes when I see people exploring the more airy fairy side of life I remember how intensely driven I also was. Maybe something happened to them also or they hit a dead end in their life and their trying to shake it up a notch.

 

[smcder]

"This also reminds me that we are all dying together. It's tempting to think we can't function with that thought foremost in mind - but that's true as many people live with the possibility that any given day is likely their last and we could all cultivate that awareness with practice. "

One of the things I found that changed for me was that I was driven to learn more on a whole slate of ideas. I started meditating regular, attempted OBE's, journaled dreams and attempted to live in the moment. Granted...all this was done as a fly by hobbiest who then later piles his hobby in the garage and closes the door. I still have some books on the shelf and most of all, the memory that my life seemed the most real at the time than any other. Sometimes when I see people exploring the more airy fairy side of life I remember how intensely driven I also was. Maybe something happened to them also or they hit a dead end in their life and their trying to shake it up a notch.

It sounds like you miss that time ... do you think that passion and intensity are gone now?

I believe you never quit meditating ... no matter how much time elapses, there is the opportunity to become aware and return to the breath.

I'm curious which books survived to stay on your shelf?

Look on the term "airy fairy" as ridicule and know that there is fear underneath all ridicule. But why exactly we are afraid of ridicule I'm not sure ... that seems to be a bit of a cultural/demographic issue. It seems like the people who feel (imagine?) they are losing power and privilege are tempted to turn to it.

Real imagination requires intelligence but it also requires courage. Intelligence is commonplace and courage is rare. We misunderstand what imagination is - if you're doing it right ... you'll be afraid.

 

[Randall]

At any rate that leaves you in denial and the general question out there for thread on how you are preparing to face your own death?

Denial is as a valid coping ( defense ) mechanism, but they say it's only a stop-gap solution, and eventually the problem will have to be faced. But I figure that since the problem is death, having to face the problem will only be an issue while I'm alive, so if I can stay in denial all the way to the bitter end, I'll never have to face it at all. LOL.

 

[smcder]

Denial is as a valid coping ( defense ) mechanism, but they say it's only a stop-gap solution, and eventually the problem will have to be faced. But I figure that since the problem is death, having to face the problem will only be an issue while I'm alive, so if I can stay in denial all the way to the bitter end, I'll never have to face it at all. LOL.

I'm a frequent user of denial and distraction but there are tremendous opportunities in trying to turn and face death. The best I've managed is a side long glance ... but I do turn a little more squarely each time.

Denial and distraction are limited and fear, suppressed, grows stronger and will find ways to erupt - generally at the worst possible moment - but you might actually get away with it!

 

[Constance]

This is beautiful and so generous of you to spend that time with your friend. I'm encouraged by all the stories of people who say "it's ok now" in the last moments.

This also reminds me that we are all dying together. It's tempting to think we can't function with that thought foremost in mind - but that's true as many people live with the possibility that any given day is likely their last and we could all cultivate that awareness with practice. At the same time, there is no conflict with the absolute "need" to keep living you describe - as despair is a form of death.

But we are poor indeed if the most important thing to us is merely our own continued existence.

Thank you for sharing this.

Steve Jobs arranged to have a conscious death. His response to it received a lot of news coverage. He went over with wide eyes, a big smile; and a look of awe, exclaiming "Wow. Oh wow . . . ."

 

[smcder]

Steve Jobs arranged to have a conscious death. His response to it received a lot of news coverage. He went over with wide eyes, a big smile; and a look of awe, exclaiming "Wow. Oh wow . . . ."

I was vaguely aware ... I will look this up!

I'd very much like to do this, to be as conscious possible, it's one aspect of my meditation practice.

From what I can tell, many, most deaths in this kind of controlled hospital/hospice setting occur with a lot of morphine ...?

 

[manxman]

ofcourse, because it is euthanasia, up the dosage's of morphine, cut fluid intakes, results in stopped heart.

They did it to my father, then my sister, then my mother, it only takes a few days.

They [the government] have banned the ''plan'' now, it was called the liverpool pathway or something similar, after many people when removed from hospice's by families who didnt approve, recovered to live upto 2 years or more.



When it became clear people were being euphanised tosave money, there was an outcry.

The Liverpool Care Pathway for the Dying Patient (LCP) is a UK care pathway (excluding Wales) covering palliative care options for patients in the final days or hours of life. It was developed to help doctors and nurses provide quality end-of-life care.

The Liverpool Care Pathway was developed by Royal Liverpool University Hospital and Liverpool's Marie Curie Hospice in the late 1990s for the care of terminally ill cancer patients. Since then the scope of the LCP has been extended to include all patients deemed dying.

While initial reception was positive, it was heavily criticised in the media in 2009 and 2012.

In 2012, it was revealed that just over half of the total of NHS trusts had received or were due to receive financial rewards to hit targets associated with the use of the care pathway.[1] These payments are made under a system known as “Commissioning for Quality and Innovation” (CQUIN), with local NHS commissioners paying trusts for meeting targets to “reward excellence” in care.[1]

In July 2013, the Department of Health released a statement which stated the use of the LCP should be "phased out over the next 6-12 months and replaced with an individual approach to end of life care for each patient".[2]

 

[boomerang]

I have had 4 NDE
I broke my neck twice, was buried while working in a trench and I was struck by lightning.
The first 3 I hovered over my body watching until I was "sucked" back in. The lightning knocked me out and I woke up with my left arm convulsing.
I have no fear of dying now.

Wow. Talk about 'been there have the T-shirt !' Is your choice for avatar of the animal purported to have 9 lives due maybe to your apparently having quite a few yourself?

 

[pixelsmith]

Wow. Talk about 'been there have the T-shirt !' Is your choice for avatar of the animal purported to have 9 lives due maybe to your apparently having quite a few yourself?

Hmmm possibly...
My avatar is my rescue cat Sugar. She was born blind and was headed for the shelter and the end of her life if I didnt adopt her. Had her 9 years now. Truly an amazing animal. Catches flies in the air, mice, insects. I was just on the patio having coffee and she was "watching" the humming birds. They make enough sound she can track them with her ears and her head goes back and forth as if she can see. Most visitors don't even notice she is blind until she runs into something.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Randall]

I'm a frequent user of denial and distraction but there are tremendous opportunities in trying to turn and face death.

Name one ... LOL .

 

[smcder]

Name one ... LOL .

heedfulness

 

[Randall]

Steve Jobs arranged to have a conscious death. His response to it received a lot of news coverage. He went over with wide eyes, a big smile; and a look of awe, exclaiming "Wow. Oh wow . . . ."

Well, Jobs always did have a flair for marketing. I think he may have used that same line for several Apple product launches .

 

[Randall]

heedfulness

Heedfulness isn't an "opportunity". It's synonymous with alert or attentive. We can be heedful and in denial about death at the same time. For example we can be in a vehicle when it suddenly spins out of control and all along never believe we'll actually die in an accident. I know this is possible because I've been in such a situation. Everyone could easily have been killed, yet I never believed for a moment that any of us would die, and it turned out that none of us were. In fact we pulled out of it without a scratch to us or the car. What good would screaming, "Oh my God we're all gonna die!" have done. Nothing. Remain calm and believe you'll live because there's always a chance you'll find a way to survive, and I think you'll have a better chance at actually surviving, and if you don't, it's that much less time chalked up to resignation and despair.

 

[smcder]

Heedfulness isn't an "opportunity". It's synonymous with alert or attentive. We can be heedful and in denial about death at the same time. For example we can be in a vehicle when it suddenly spins out of control and all along never believe we'll actually die in an accident. I know this is possible because I've been in such a situation. Everyone could easily have been killed, yet I never believed for a moment that any of us would die, and it turned out that none of us were. In fact we pulled out of it without a scratch to us or the car. What good would screaming, "Oh my God we're all gonna die!" have done. Nothing. Remain calm and believe you'll live because there's always a chance you'll find a way to survive, and I think you'll have a better chance at actually surviving, and if you don't, it's that much less time chalked up to resignation and despair.

Through this meditation practice:

Travels: Lam Rim & the Nine Point Death Meditation

... one can develop an appreciation that death could come at any time. This practice helps me to be in the moment. Being in the moment develops equanimity and a number of other qualities.

It takes energy to maintain a defense mechanism. By facing a fear, you can let go of the defense mechanism and get that energy back to apply to your life.

If folks want to know more, www.accesstoinsight.org is a good starting place.

These practices are not for everyone, meditation is not suitable for everyone, but basic mindfulness meditation has many benefits.

 

[marduk]

Through this meditation practice:

Travels: Lam Rim & the Nine Point Death Meditation

... one can develop an appreciation that death could come at any time. This practice helps me to be in the moment. Being in the moment develops equanimity and a number of other qualities.

It takes energy to maintain a defense mechanism. By facing a fear, you can let go of the defense mechanism and get that energy back to apply to your life.

If folks want to know more, www.accesstoinsight.org is a good starting place.

These practices are not for everyone, meditation is not suitable for everyone, but basic mindfulness meditation has many benefits.

My sensei used to say things often like "Enter to die, and then turn. Decide to live at the last second. If you don't understand this, you'll never understand martial arts or how to live." I'm paraphrasing of course.

 

[smcder]

My sensei used to say things often like "Enter to die, and then turn. Decide to live at the last second. If you don't understand this, you'll never understand martial arts or how to live." I'm paraphrasing of course.

What did you study?

 

[smcder]

ofcourse, because it is euthanasia, up the dosage's of morphine, cut fluid intakes, results in stopped heart.

They did it to my father, then my sister, then my mother, it only takes a few days.

They [the government] have banned the ''plan'' now, it was called the liverpool pathway or something similar, after many people when removed from hospice's by families who didnt approve, recovered to live upto 2 years or more.



When it became clear people were being euphanised tosave money, there was an outcry.

The Liverpool Care Pathway for the Dying Patient (LCP) is a UK care pathway (excluding Wales) covering palliative care options for patients in the final days or hours of life. It was developed to help doctors and nurses provide quality end-of-life care.

The Liverpool Care Pathway was developed by Royal Liverpool University Hospital and Liverpool's Marie Curie Hospice in the late 1990s for the care of terminally ill cancer patients. Since then the scope of the LCP has been extended to include all patients deemed dying.

While initial reception was positive, it was heavily criticised in the media in 2009 and 2012.

In 2012, it was revealed that just over half of the total of NHS trusts had received or were due to receive financial rewards to hit targets associated with the use of the care pathway.[1] These payments are made under a system known as “Commissioning for Quality and Innovation” (CQUIN), with local NHS commissioners paying trusts for meeting targets to “reward excellence” in care.[1]

In July 2013, the Department of Health released a statement which stated the use of the LCP should be "phased out over the next 6-12 months and replaced with an individual approach to end of life care for each patient".[2]

Wow ... three family members. I am sorry for this loss. I assume you feel they would have had more time?

 

[marduk]

What did you study?

Aikido. Also did some jiujutsu, kenjitu, iado, etc along the way but 99% aikido.