Why...Ill freaking tell you why

[CapnG]

... all they care about is what is convenient or feely good which is evident from alot of the smart ass replys made to this original post which is more than likely a few zit faced neo con unemployed ritilin infested cant get a girl so I jerk off to porn youth.

Heheheh... there's a thread about user age on this board, do a search it'll surprise you (hint: think OLDER).

3. Respect for your environement - This would cover your home, or parents home, your room, or cell, for some of the youth. Just dont wallow in your own shit people, learn how to pick up your clothes, wash your own clothes, etc. If you are old enough to take a shit, then learn how to wipe your own ass!

I've known teenagers who kept things neat and tidy and full grown adults who are total slobs. This is generalization, pure and simple.

1. Hard work - Almost forgot this one, I dont think I even need to comment on this one because all of us have become so fucking lazy in this country it turns my stomach. No one takes responsibility, has any balls to do the right thing and God forbid we piss of some mother fucking illegal immigrant by being politically incorrect.

Think Paris Hilton works hard? There's your role model, so there's your answer. And leave the immigrants out of it. I guarantee you've never worked as hard in your life under such shitty conditions for as crappy a paycheque as they have.

You seem to have alot of misdirected anger 405. I suspect that anger starts at home so here's a suggestion- you're a parent? Fine. DO SOME PARENTING. You take care of your own kids and leave it to other people to do the same.

 

[mike]

dont mind me, i love the structure of equations as a tool to rationalise.

all im saying is from my perspective, you may be applying "constant" or fixed rationalisations to a subject that is "variable" in nature, this would predictably give null data.
also the sample is local (i assume) how do you know "the kids" in japan or new zealand are as you describe them ?

its to my mind a poor logic pattern , and can lead to inapproriate expressions of generalisation such as racism

"the kids ive met are lazy, ergo "they" are all lazy"

"the black ppl ive met were theives, ergo "they" are all theives."

let me take the example i used and break it down

"Something is wrong with our kids today... My 4 year old will NEVER be like this!!!!!! Oh yea, they are fucking lazy too."


Something is wrong with our kids today... (constant value)

My 4 year old will NEVER be like this (obvious recognition of a variable value)

Oh yea, they are fucking lazy too." ("they" constant value)

for a moment in the middle you recognise the subject "kids" is a variable, but the overiding trend is to think of them as "constant" values....

i dont mean to offend, its just the way i see it

i think if you can recognise that the reality is a "variable" and not a "constant" you might be happier
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[qqqq]

My children have the same comment - Exterminate

 

[jarshua]

I agree with your intentions and values I just think you may be acting a bit harsh about it. I have 2 boys and I want hem to be respectful, honorable, responsible, etc. but I know that if they aren't perfect, neither was I when I was a teen. Not until much later. In all seriousness though lets not forget that your parent's generation may have said the same things about you whether you deserved it or not. The teen years are a very confusing and difficult time for everyone. We are blasted with hormones, have rebellious feelings so that soon we will leave the nest, we think we know everything and our parents are so dumb and lame. We are pressured into stupid things by friends, shunned if we are smart enough to resist. Find me a teenager who acts like a responsible adult every minute and I will show you a kid who is pulling the wool over your eyes. We need to guide them in the right direction whether they like it or not, recognize they won't be anywhere near perfect or even acceptable. They will hate you, yell at you, and resent you........for a while. When they truly start getting wiser they will realize you were right and appreciate the heck outta you.

 

[405boy]

CapnG, you are the devils advocate and from your post I can attain an asshole.

 

[405boy]

I guess Im just wasting my time on this post, oh well, to each his own, I have to admit, it was very therapeutic to blast all that shit out. I am sure many people who read this and did not post understand exactly what I meant and where I was coming from, not to mention a few people who did post seem to understand a little about what I was getting at. Thanks to all of you for listening and responding. Now Im gonna go take a cold shower. LOL

 

[mike]

I suspect that anger starts at home .

nail on the head mate.

the real issue here is the stepson and by extension his friends and by extension their generation.

thats really what this is about

 

[jarshua]

I guess Im just wasting my time on this post, oh well, to each his own, I have to admit, it was very therapeutic to blast all that shit out. I am sure many people who read this and did not post understand exactly what I meant and where I was coming from, not to mention a few people who did post seem to understand a little about what I was getting at. Thanks to all of you for listening and responding. Now Im gonna go take a cold shower. LOL

If it did make you feel even a bit better to vent then it wasn't a waste of time. Kids have the potential to make you feel so happy you could bust, sad beyond belief, and sometimes angry and frustrated. There have been times I would have pulled my hair out if I wasn't already bald. Hang in there bud, and if you ever need to vent again feel free. Next time maybe we won't launch straight for your juggular, we'll just nibble your leg a bit

 

[405boy]

Mike you are correct sir, hence the reason my stepson no longer lives here. I guess I feel a bit guilty about it, but I feel he made me do it. It started 8 long months ago and not a damn thing changed. My wife was caught in the middle but definatley saw my point. You cant act like you are 3 when you are 18. Unfortunately he has a sorry as father that never taught him a damn thing and even though I tried hard as hell to help him, it was too late. It was also causing problems with my marriage and I dont need that.

 

[CapnG]

CapnG, you are the devils advocate and from your post I can attain an asshole.

I work with what I'm given and tailor my responses accordingly. If that comes off as assholish of me, so be it. I aim to make people think but I can't guarantee you'll like the thoughts I provoke.

 

[mike]

Mike you are correct sir, hence the reason my stepson no longer lives here. I guess I feel a bit guilty about it, but I feel he made me do it. It started 8 long months ago and not a damn thing changed. My wife was caught in the middle but definatley saw my point. You cant act like you are 3 when you are 18. Unfortunately he has a sorry as father that never taught him a damn thing and even though I tried hard as hell to help him, it was too late. It was also causing problems with my marriage and I dont need that.

i suspect that in your daughters case, being "the father" makes you feel as though you have definate "leverage" in deciding how she turns out. not having that "leverage" in your stepsons case must be frustrating.

that doesnt mean it cant be done, but you may have to find a new "lever" in his case

 

[TClaeys]

So to all of you who flick your nose at me and leave smart ass little comments let me ask you this...Do you have any kids yourself or are you yourself a little loser.

I guess I am just a little disappointed in the youth our generation has churned out. We have spoiled them, made them weak, made them feel a sense of entitlement that isnt and never was there.

Well, I understand your venting. I hope you're not implying here that if you do not have kids or want them then you are a loser. Because this is one of the problems. Some people just shouldn't be parents. The notion of having a cute little baby is appealing, ... until you actually have to work to raise the kid to have some values as you described.

But again, some people should not have kids. And they become worthless losers when they do. They want everyone else in society to do THEIR job. It's a hard fucking job. And it never ends, if you do it right. But I've seen this as a middle school teacher. Kids, some of them, do exactly what you have described. The parents apparently want ME to raise their kids to have good values and high moral fiber. But guess what?? It's not my job. And you can begin to tell very quickly that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

I had a kid who was a constant jerk off. Class clown. Did anything when my back was turned. It didn't take long for me to gently explain what I expected in class. BUT, come parent-teacher conferences, his mom sat across from me with a Donald Duck t-shirt that read "I'm not wearing any pants". Hmmmm, I'm guessing his behavior problem was not due to the generalization that the kids are just disrespectful little shits. I also had great kids and you could just tell what the parents were like.

I have 2 kids and am sometimes overwhelmed at how much work it is. It's easy to give in. I try and try and try and they are both very young. But the way they turn out is largely a reflection of the people that were INVOLVED in their life. So when we say that the kids are "little ungrateful bastards" we should be looking into the mirror, so to speak. It isn't any kids fault.

Sure games are fun. They can have a phone and an I-Pod and a Ps3 and whatever else, but we have to be consistent with and accountable for instilling in them the highest degree of , .... well whatever you think is important. And it's usually easy to point out what is important when observing the kids. For a lot of people, it is putting a lot of idle time in their hands and hoping the teachers or better yet, their friends, do a good job of sculpting them into responsible individuals.

 

[405boy]

Mike,

My 4 year old is my son, not a daughter. nothing there as far as controlling.

TClaeys, you are spot on, you see, my stepson lived with his biological father for the past 4 years because he was in a private school where he had attended since he was 5. His mother and I moved to Atlanta and we, as well as his father did not want to uproot him and he did not want to start a new school either, as he had attended with the same classmates for the past 13 years.

So when he finished school he moved to Atlanta to live with us. Those 5 years not living with me and his mother has permantley damaged him and he does not even realize it. If we had to do it over again we would have just commuted the 140 mile round trip for our jobs. Big mistake on our part indeed, but nevertheless, at some point you have to take responsibility for your self, your hygiene, your passion or zest for life. In this case this poor child is now nothing more than a bump on a log. Again, we could all say its not his fault, but only up to a point. My mother died when i was a teenager, but I did not let it turn me into a lazy piece of shit, I sucked it up and carried on the way she would want me to.

Indeed most parents only consider the school system as a temp baby sitter, they too are lazy ass pieces of shit. Most are to self involved and the kids never get a chance - So yes, I think this is a double edged sword any way you slice it, no pun intended.

 

[qqqq]

Mike,

Those 5 years not living with me and his mother has permantley damaged him and he does not even realize it.

In what way was he damaged, physically?, alien mind warped, demonic possesion, gta withdrawl's

 

[405boy]

He was just allowed to turn into, well, nothing. No job, no responsibilities, gained over 100lbs, so now he is a fat ass too. No discipline, Im easy going but Jesus Christ, dont let the young one play 360 for 20 hrs over a weekend. At the least, get a girlfriend, as far as I know he is not gay, lol.

I hate to see the day coming soon when he will realizes responsibility is part of life, along with zero experience in the workforce, he will undeniabley be passed over for jobs. I hope when he does get a job he just does not get fired in the first week. Does that answer your question?

 

[mike]

dont know where i got the idea your 4 year old was a daughter, sorry about that.

i could see the OP was about the stepson, but that for whatever reason you felt more comfortable talking about his "generation" in general than him specifically.

it was those generalisations that stuck out as inaccurate to most i suspect.

and to reiterate, i suspect that deep down your genetic link to your 4 year old makes you feel as if you have the "right" to direct his evolution to an outcome you find satisfying. ie motivated ,healthy responsible etc....
(not saying you dont)

whereas there are constraints in regards to the 18 year old that make you feel as if you dont have the "right" or the leverage to change him into something that satisfys your image of a well formed member of society.

the frustration inherent in the situation is obvious in your posts.

not saying this is how it will turn out but i'll share my own experience.....

as an adult i once visited my mother and stepfather, they had a daugter (hmmm ? maybe where i got the idea) when i was 10.
anyway my stepfather pulled me aside and said to me

"when you were young i thought you and your brother were little shits...... it wasnt until my own child got to be the same age that i realised that, you were both angels in comparrison to her, you guys were nothing compared to the defiant little monster she became. i owe you an apology"

right now you feel like you have some say in the destiny of your 4 year old, and that he will NEVER be like the stepson....

the 4 year old is a maleable "variable", the 18 year old a "constant" (lazy bum). its a stark contrast and the perceived distance between the two examples only serves to make the matter look worse than it perhaps is.

youve quite litterally set these two individuals at opposite ends of the spectrum.

there are no gaurantees you know, the greatest "constant" is change (very zen i know) but its true
the society you grew up in is gone, paper routes didnt really go into growth mode when papers went online.
where in my day a young man could expect to get a job with a good company and work there if he wished for 25 years paying off a house and raising a familiy with full job security.
now everything is employment contracts, and employers have realised that you should cycle staff in and out not retain them for 25 years.
the 18yr old was raised in a different world to you, as your 4 year old will be raised in a differnt world to the one he was.

here in australia 18 is voting/drinking age. legally a man.
i dont think you need to feel guilty about who he is, any more than you should feel guilty about who i am ........

like it or not that boat has sailed

its been said that if you cant change what you see, change the way you look at it, perhaps you would be better off thinking of him as a man and relating to him as you would say an adult brother in law, rather than a step"son".

 

[R-T-S-D]

TLDR this thread but it seems to me 405boy has an unfounded sense of entitlement over the life this step son of his has.
Honestly why do you care how this person turns out, he's not your kid, you've made that readily apparent in your senseless ramblings.
If your sick of him mooching off your paycheck and earnings well then you've only got yourself to blame for mooching off this kids mom's assets. If you really felt so disgusted by his lack of initiative you would have discarded him from your life by now, rather than gaining some twisted sense of enlightened affirmation for the suffering endured in your own shitty existence by posturing yourself to be such a remarkable example of manhood.

Honestly, if you were indifferent you wouldn't complain. So maybe you should ask yourself why you care so much?

 

[diny]

The dont give a fuck, 90% of the teenagers I personally know dont even have a fucking drivers license, a checking account, a job. The new generation. I think they are called millenials. They are non motivated, synthetic drugged out fucking retards with no ambition, no honor, no interests, no hobbies, just play fucking video games and thier stupid ass ipod and texting on the mother fucking cell phone. DAMN!! Sorry to be so uptight about this but I have witnessed this in my own damn house with my step son. Something is wrong with our kids today... My 4 year old will NEVER be like this!!!!!! Oh yea, they are fucking lazy too.

I wonder if the thing wrong in your house could your F*@?ing attitude. I managed to raise three wonderful, successful children all by myself. I divorced morons like you. Now my 3 kids, in their 20s, have college degrees and great jobs. They are all hardworking, responsible and resourceful, able to handle whatever life throws at them. They even love their mother. Gee, I guess you just have to do something right with kids if you want them to turn out well. Who woulda' thought.

 

[Experiencer7]

The dont give a fuck, 90% of the teenagers I personally know dont even have a fucking drivers license, a checking account, a job. The new generation. I think they are called millenials. They are non motivated, synthetic drugged out fucking retards with no ambition, no honor, no interests, no hobbies, just play fucking video games and thier stupid ass ipod and texting on the mother fucking cell phone. DAMN!! Sorry to be so uptight about this but I have witnessed this in my own damn house with my step son. Something is wrong with our kids today... My 4 year old will NEVER be like this!!!!!! Oh yea, they are fucking lazy too.

Dude., chill! If he is old enough to have a job., make him pay rent. If he is 18 or older and won't keep a job., Kick the lazy little shit out of your house. If he kicks your ass in the process., file charges. If mom has a problem with this., leave., and let her have it. You are not alone.

 

[Gareth]

lol @ OP citing a checking account as something thats important to have.