Really? No kidding ... and they speak about this ... where? We lay folk, well they mostly consider us rubes ... and thus dismiss us. You know, we lay people out here in the boon docks are seldom worthy of their discourse. Well, scuse' me. Who is it for the most part that help pay for the freight for SETI. Having, over the years, talking with many of those guys .. I have a feel for the covert contempt many of them have for the great unwashed masses. Doesn't negate the questions however, or the resistance they have for furnishing answers.
There is a vast literature on this, both popular and professional. People like Seth Shostak devote a lot of their time just to public outreach, as does the SETI institute, and they have answered every question many times. You just have to open your eyes. Try starting with the staff publications at seti.org. For example, Jill Tarter's. All this stuff is out in the open and available to anyone.