• NEW! LOWEST RATES EVER -- SUPPORT THE SHOW AND ENJOY THE VERY BEST PREMIUM PARACAST EXPERIENCE! Welcome to The Paracast+, eight years young! For a low subscription fee, you can download the ad-free version of The Paracast and the exclusive, member-only, After The Paracast bonus podcast, featuring color commentary, exclusive interviews, the continuation of interviews that began on the main episode of The Paracast. We also offer lifetime memberships! Flash! Take advantage of our lowest rates ever! Act now! It's easier than ever to susbcribe! You can sign up right here!

    Subscribe to The Paracast Newsletter!

How to catch a Bigfoot? (theoretically)

Free episodes:

Forums New posts
Han

Han

piscator ψ
Dear Paracasters,

Whilst I do not want it to happen in reality, I would be interested to know, (theoretically speaking) how would you go about hunting a Bigfoot?
N.B. because this is only theoretical I am interested in all possible techniques even those usually illegal.

please add your suggestions, thoughts and comments:
 
Forgot to say that because this is only imaginary,you have an unlimited budget and authority. so things like the Army and Air force are at your disposal!
 
you dont bigfoot catches you..... if you get hooked into bigfootery by bigfootologists

funniest shit ever writing that word, bigfootologist, see ive just treated myself to a second.

i would use 100,000 heavily armed US peace-keepers, once they were home from peace-keeping in iraq, and have them all form a line and noisily herd any animal infront of them into a natural obstacle, like a valley, and they would be all armed with tranquiliser guns, and they wouldnt be due any leave until they caught one between.

then after a year and many 1000s of square miles later, i would say feck it, and call it a day before they shot me.
 
Last edited:
I would send all those "paranormal investigators" (that happen upon all sorts of things) into the woods with firearms.
Or just put a cash bounty on the head of bigfoot. CASH. Those mamby pamby" I couldnt shoot because it looked like my uncle Fred" people would change their tunes quickly.
Or be shown as the liars I believe they are.
Oh, I just remembered...last week I was sighting in my DPMS LR308 at 200yds, when an upright dog walked in front of my target. But, alas, I couldnt shoot because it was brindle...and my dear dead Buella was brindle. But "trust" me.
 
I was after more basic information like, where do they live, what do they eat, where do they drink, where do they sleep, where do they "hang out" etc.

Also I would say that there has been a "price" on Bigfoots head since day 1 in that bagging one would make you instantly "famous".
 
I would employ drone aircraft with infrared cameras. The drones would run methodical patterns across the most remote areas of the U.S.

Images from the IR cameras would be run through a computer algorithm tuned to ignore the signatures of animals like deer and bears, but notify headquarters any time they found something "bigfoot-ish".

Detections would cause a fleet of more sensitive drones to be dispatched to the area for closer inspection.

This technology already exists.
 
Charlie Prime said:
I would employ drone aircraft with infrared cameras. The drones would run methodical patterns across the most remote areas of the U.S.

Images from the IR cameras would be run through a computer algorithm tuned to ignore the signatures of animals like deer and bears, but notify headquarters any time they found something "bigfoot-ish".

Detections would cause a fleet of more sensitive drones to be dispatched to the area for closer inspection.

This technology already exists.
Click to expand...


I agree that this would indeed be a sensible way to approach the problem I had a similar idea involving Search and rescue helicopters, however I have a feeling that a Bigfoot may not show up in IR or Thermal Imaging given that he seems to be impossible to photograph.
 
Do you think that a "shaman" or "summoner" of some kind could be used to get one to make an appearance?

Or do you think that the location is more important, in other words is it a case of being the "right" person in the "right" place or do you think that anyone anywhere can see one?
 
If Bigfeets are some type of spook, then my solution is irrelevant.

A better solution would be to conjure up one into your garden shed with incantations and such.

The best system for summoning spooks depends on your cultural background, Asian, European, Native American, etc.

Try Thelema: US Grand Lodge » Ordo Templi Orientis
 
Here is an avenue that I had not considered (care of @pduchesne)

"Maybe they can bring back Gigantopithecus. If we can't find Bigfoot, we'll make our own."


"Believe it or not, scientists have already begun the process of resurrecting extinct animals, and just recently Australian scientists managed to revive a native frog. A panel of experts discusses the science and ethics of bringing back extinct species."
 
Go and watch those dimwits from 'Finding Bigfoot' try and find Bigfoot. My favorite episode is where they get a caravan of SUVs together and drive into the woods making noise and shining deer spotting lights. A close second is howling like a supposed Bigfoot would. That should round them up!
 
DaveM said:
Go and watch those dimwits from 'Finding Bigfoot' try and find Bigfoot. My favorite episode is where they get a caravan of SUVs together and drive into the woods making noise and shining deer spotting lights. A close second is howling like a supposed Bigfoot would. That should round them up!
Click to expand...

I will check it out, I have heard of the show, but have never seen it.

I wont blame you if its awful, and will thank you if I find it amusing :D
 
I'm afraid it is awful Han. Those two incidents are just the tip of the iceberg as far as stupid Bigfoot investigations go.
 
Han said:
I was after more basic information like, where do they live, what do they eat, where do they drink, where do they sleep, where do they "hang out" etc.

Also I would say that there has been a "price" on Bigfoots head since day 1 in that bagging one would make you instantly "famous".
Click to expand...
No idea. No one who has set out to find BF has ever found one...except those oldtimers patterson/gimlin(not suspect at all. Everyone would grab a camera instead of the rifles they were carrying..right). Seems the folks that "see" bigfoot are just at the right place/right time.
As for the price....being "famous" isnt exactly what I meant. I am talking CASH. As in bring in a body and you get $$$$$$.
 
The whole Bigfoot body hoaxing thing is getting pretty disturbing. The descriptions of the offal, animal parts and entrails stuffed into the frozen suit in the block of ice was beyond over the top and indicates a complete lack of decency or respect for animals in general. In fact I find it malicious and distasteful. If this is where the Bigfoot community is heading then it needs to complete way more house cleaning than ufology ever did.
 
Burnt State said:
The whole Bigfoot body hoaxing thing is getting pretty disturbing. The descriptions of the offal, animal parts and entrails stuffed into the frozen suit in the block of ice was beyond over the top and indicates a complete lack of decency or respect for animals in general. In fact I find it malicious and distasteful. If this is where the Bigfoot community is heading then it needs to complete way more house cleaning than ufology ever did.
Click to expand...

Adamski, Meier, Romanek, (dr)Greer and as I know next to nothing about ufology there are probably worse offenders (I am not quite sure if "elr0n cupboard" counts as part of ufology or religion) heavens gate maybe? lets be fair there are and have been more an equal amount of charlatans in both Cryptozoology and Ufology.
 
Back
Top