The aliens will be quickly hauled off-site in ambulances and fed strawberry ice cream as the craft is cordoned off. Then Bill Nye will get on Larry King and say this is obviously a viral marketing campaign set up to sell Alienware gaming PCs. The aliens were small-stature actors dressed up in rubber suits. Skeptics will be calling foul and Alienware will deny any involvement. Someone will find a coca cola can in the spaceship, which will also be quickly hauled away. Then CNN will find a guy who says he participated in the fraud and give away a few details. The FBI will launch an investigation and then a crane operator will say he was the one who hauled the craft to the roof of a nearby building where it was pushed off to simulate a crash. The Mayor will get on TV and suggest criminal charges of public endangerment are being prepared and they hope to catch the perpetrator very soon.
Meanwhile a local New Age group wearing long robes will suggest the craft is a harbringer of the Second Coming and set up camp on the crash site, selling beads and small figurines of the aliens out of a tent. Gloria, an older lady with wispy blonde hair and member of the group will claim to be in telepathic contact with Orgasmithon, who is the alien leader. Strieber will be interviewed by Fox and claim the craft was real because they had actually visited him first, where he gave them directions on how to proceed. Budd Hopkins will proclaim to be undecided, but says he is willing to regress anyone who saw the spectacle so that they can fully recall their experiences. George Snoory will interview a number of witnesses, many of whom will be harangued by skeptics on the West of the Rockies line. And Snoory will say, "Oh, my goodness. That's just amazing.' Leno, in his new show, will pull together an alien panel (of aliens) and ask them stupid questions about gaming in Las Vegas. There will be a Top Ten List, too, of 'You know you've seen an alien when....'
Within a few days a Hurricane will strike Florida and become the major news item and Obama will again be criticized for bowing to a foreign potentate who calls himself a King. People wil debate why they have to, yet again, bail out stupid retirees who insist on building flimsy beach condos and then say they are deprived when they fall down. The story will be pushed off the front page. Conspiracy theorists on ATS will start a new forum suggesting the UFO was NOT viral maketing, but is instead a NWO plot hatched by the Illuminati to hasten a one-world government. The cell phone pictures which make it to David will be deemed to blurry and out of focus to tell definitively if they are Photoshopped.
And, on the Paracast, Greg Bishop and Robert Hastings will enter into a month-long quoting duel, each quoting long swaths of text from the other to provide single-sentence rejoinders, on a thread entitled, 'Was it real, or was it Memorex?' Tommy Allison will announce the whole thing is 'fucking god damned fraud' and ask everyone just what they are going to do about the god damn coke can, fer Chrissakes! It's obvious! And BrandonD will point out whoever did this is in it for the money. Gareth will point out that if this had happened in the southern hemisphere they would have found one of those over-sized cans of Australian beer rather than a mere 12oz coke can. And Dusty will proclaim that must be the same space ship that is supposedly buried in a field in front of Longleat, the huge home of the Marquess of Bath and his 75 wifelets.
