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Why do we still demand that....

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jpw.in.wi said:
Love isn't a feeling, it's a conscious, deliberate choice to commit yourself to willing the good of another. Keep up the great posts!
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Love, like all emotion is a chemical reaction engineered by the brain in response to certain stimuli.

/snark
 
I am 27 and am starting to get the same attitude, particularly from my co-workers. Not having kids, not being married, others see this as somehow unnatural. I like women as much as the next guy, but a lot of people assume that I must be homosexual for lacking children and a wife. For christ's sake, people make me feel as though I should belong to some kind of 12 step program, "Hi, my name is Chuck, I'm 27 and I do not have a wife or kids." Then comes the sympathy and the sighs. "Hi Chuck. You're amongst family here."

If I ever get married, which I have serious doubts about ever doing, it will be because I want to, not because everyone else thinks that I should. It fucking pisses me off and makes me even more hermetic. Why should I have to conform my life to these standards of acceptable or normal adult human behavior? Who decided that this ought to be the measure of a mature adult?

And as for that prig who said that not having children deprives people of living a full and meaningful life or some such garbage: are you aware, sir or mam, that there have been plenty of incredibly intelligent people who never had any kids, folks whose names will still be spoken long after yours has been forgotten? Henry David Thoreau comes to mind. Having shithead whining brats can be meaningful, sir, but it is certainly not the only way to live a full and meaningful life.
 
Having shithead whining brats can be meaningful, sir, but it is certainly not the only way to live a full and meaningful life.
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i didnt want to get married OR have children as well. but at 26 i got married and at 29 i had the first child and a 2nd followed a year later. i never regretted it. they were/are 2 of the most delightful children i had ever been around. they are 22 and 23 now.

if someone ever called them "shit head whining brats" i would kick their ass into tomorrow.
 
pixelsmith said:
i didnt want to get married OR have children as well. but at 26 i got married and at 29 i had the first child and a 2nd followed a year later. i never regretted it. they were/are 2 of the most delightful children i had ever been around. they are 22 and 23 now.

if someone ever called them "shit head whining brats" i would kick their ass into tomorrow.
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You wouldn't be able to kick my ass. You would have to shoot me.

As for your children, I'm sure there were times when they behaved like shiteads. 99% of kids, especially teenagers, go through a long period of being shithead whining brats. It's not until adulthood that they mellow out.
 
Chuckleberryfinn said:
I am 27 and am starting to get the same attitude, particularly from my co-workers. Not having kids, not being married, others see this as somehow unnatural.

If I ever get married, which I have serious doubts about ever doing, it will be because I want to, not because everyone else thinks that I should.
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There are some wonderful ladies out there who have no desire to have kids. I was doubtful I'd ever marry... but the woman I'm engaged to changed everything. We're not doing it because it's the "next step", or because it's expected, but because we feel like we're perfect partners, and we may as well make it official.

And kids are DEFINITELY off the table... in fact when we're watching a movie or something and somebody has a crying baby, we'll grab each other's hand and say "Yay! We're not gonna have kids!" It's nothing agianst the happiness that they bring some people, rather, it's a celebration of the freedom we have and the opportunity to totally devote ourselves to each other.

So don't worry about what people think, and know that while it's a bit harder to find women who aren't interested in kids, they're definitely out there. You know what you want, and that's more than many people can say! Good luck!
 
Chuckleberryfinn said:
You wouldn't be able to kick my ass. You would have to shoot me.

As for your children, I'm sure there were times when they behaved like shiteads. 99% of kids, especially teenagers, go through a long period of being shithead whining brats. It's not until adulthood that they mellow out.
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You mean the way you have mellowed with age?????

Sheesh!!!!!
 
Why does the human race still demand that you have kids?...
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I didn't read the entire thread, but to answer that question: It doesn't demand anything, We are still animals and on the most basic level we are created to procreate.

Do we have to ? No we don't at all. It personal choice because we have a certain level of intelligence that allows us to make responsible decisions. Obviously, not all humans exercise that decision and have kids when they shouldn't and some people who don't want kids might actually be great parents and never get that life experience.

Some of you who do not want kids based on your 'personal freedom' to travel and do things you like to do that is cool. I happen to think you are being responsible people for not having children as the sentiment expressed is that it would take away from your own life because that is what you want to concentrate on. Perhaps, you aren't ready to put your own life aside for your own child so its a good thing that you don't because it might make you miserable and be a bad parent.

My wife and I just had our first child and I can say that I really couldn't be happier in life, it's so exciting and different. She is 2.5 months now and so much fun. To think I would actually have a child compared to me 5-10 yeas ago I would say it would never happen, but life changes. It's so weird to me sometimes. We have this little human that doesn't know anything about this world, can't walk, can't talk, has limited vision and I get to witness her grow and learn all of these things. It's pretty cool. :)

Having a child changes your perspective of life. You don't think about yourselves first anymore, which is something I welcomed with open arms. It's not really a big deal, you find time for you and your significant other to have time for yourselves to go for drinks, movies, concerts, whatever. I already had my selfish fun, traveling, partying, promiscuous behavior and I just came to a time where I was just done with it. I met the girl I love and having a kid does not take away from any hobby or interest I have, and it gives me a new one. I realized that it's a progression in life, my life, that is. :p


People are just looking at western society, which basically is on the decline as far as population is concerned. Look at polygamy. Muslims are out-reproducing Europeans, by something like a 3 to 1 ratio and it's impossible for them to catch up. In a few decades Europe will be dominated by Muslims. :eek:
 
DVS said:
Some of you who do not want kids based on your 'personal freedom' to travel and do things you like to do that is cool. I happen to think you are being responsible people for not having children as the sentiment expressed is that it would take away from your own life because that is what you want to concentrate on. Perhaps, you aren't ready to put your own life aside for your own child so its a good thing that you don't because it might make you miserable and be a bad parent.
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I can't dispute the majority of your post, but I have to argue against insinuation that having kids is somehow a more selfless choice. People have kids for exactly the same reason they don't have kids. It's what they want to do to be happy. Procreation isn't an act of charity, it's fulfilling your desires in life... your "personal freeom" to have a baby.
 
Will Penguin said:
I can't dispute the majority of your post, but I have to argue against insinuation that having kids is somehow a more selfless choice. People have kids for exactly the same reason they don't have kids. It's what they want to do to be happy. Procreation isn't an act of charity, it's fulfilling your desires in life... your "personal freeom" to have a baby.
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I didn't mean to insinuate that, but I agree with your point. It isn't a more selfless choice, but it's a choice that basically forces you to be selfless. My point there was that, for those who don't want children for reasons of personal freedom are being responsible people for not having kids. Having one might make them miserable in life because they do not want to focus on having a baby at that point in life. Although having one ought to change that perspective - or not. That just my perspective.
 
DVS said:
I didn't mean to insinuate that, but I agree with your point. It isn't a more selfless choice, but it's a choice that basically forces you to be selfless. My point there was that, for those who don't want children for reasons of personal freedom are being responsible people for not having kids. Having one might make them miserable in life because they do not want to focus on having a baby at that point in life. Although having one ought to change that perspective - or not. That just my perspective.
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Well, now I really can't argue with you.

Dammit. :mad:







:D
 
well, having kids is definitely not like the "mom can I have a puppy, please, please, please, please, I'll take it for walks and feed it and brush it and I promise to clean up after it...."
 
Chuckleberryfinn said:
You wouldn't be able to kick my ass. You would have to shoot me.

As for your children, I'm sure there were times when they behaved like shiteads. 99% of kids, especially teenagers, go through a long period of being shithead whining brats. It's not until adulthood that they mellow out.
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shitheads? no they never did act that way.
and i guarantee i would be able to kick your ass if you are f#cking with my children.
 
Chuckleberryfinn said:
And as for that prig who said that not having children deprives people of living a full and meaningful life or some such garbage: are you aware, sir or mam, that there have been plenty of incredibly intelligent people who never had any kids, folks whose names will still be spoken long after yours has been forgotten? Henry David Thoreau comes to mind. Having shithead whining brats can be meaningful, sir, but it is certainly not the only way to live a full and meaningful life.
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If you mean me by that comment, you should really check your reading comprehension skills. ;)
 
Me and my partner are DINKs, and furthermore, both children of divorce.
We can both respect the fact that we do not have enough;TIME, LOVE, and MONEY, the three biggest resources a child needs, and thusly will continue our hedonistic lifestyle, unabated.

As for the overpopulation issue, the immortal words of Roger Waters, 'Not Now John' ring the truest; "There's too many homefires burning and not enough trees."
 
Judge and be judged I say. If you don't won't to have kids, more power to you! No need to make judgements on anyone who does or doesn't. My friend Mike would be an absolutely fantastic dad, really caring sharing friend but for whatever reason it's not his bag and more power to him.

I wish more people would exercise extreme discretion with baby making. The people who are the least capable or prepared often have the most kids and these kids repeat the same patterns over and over again.....just like the premise for the movie Idiocracy.

I will be having my first child in January and am greatly looking forward to it, although I did love my sleep, oh well.
 
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