Extraordinary Encounters and Interpersonal Relationships

[Jonah]

First, an apology to KellyC for my comments regarding her personal relationships and my apparently strong feelings regarding her "duty". After re-reading my comment, I don't feel it was my place to lecture her even though with my added caveat "I don't mean to lecture but...", that's what I was doing. Again, my apologies. She's a grown lady - and I hope she would understand my admonitions/lecture came with only good intentions.

Thinking about it today, I wondered why her revelation regarding her personal relationships, her fear that the fella she was interested would abandon her and her sympathetic stance of "who would blame him" included on her post at the youtube vid caused me to go there.

I supposed it was due to my own experiences and their effects on my own life with regard to my interpersonal relationships. When it comes to relationships - personal, business or simply casual, those who have found themselves engaged at some point in their lives in an extraordinary encounter have but two choices. They either live the "Secret Life" as Dave Jacobs terms it, or they don't. The repercussions of either decision has serious implications for all involved parties. For the experiencer, living the secret life means living dishonestly with themselves and with others, as the face they present to others is not their true identity (the sum of their experience- all of them- if you will) and the mask they hide behind themselves is a heavy wight to bear. Ultimately, this is not, IMO, a healthy way to exist. On the other hand, if they choose to live up front and honestly, they risk, as Kelly describes, ridicule, constant suspicion of their honesty, integrity and/or mental condition. It drives a wedge between the experiencer and -all- others. It can certainly affect the ability to make a living, depending on chosen occupation and just how publicly one makes these experiences. It can separate one from the family, both close and personal and the larger human family. Can one live "up front" and yet remain healthy living with this kind of separation? Again, IMO, it wouldn't seem so. Hence my comment regarding a "duty". In a sense, possible a duty to others before duty to self in a loosely termed way. I don't know the answer really, upon reflection.

So what is someone who has experienced the extraordinary to do when it comes to romantic relationships and extraordinary encounters? Is honestly living with yourself and others always the best policy when speaking of extreme interpersonal relationships, at the risk of loss, separation, potentially being ostracized from friends or family? Or is it better to live a "secret life", at the expense of not being true to yourself or to others?

Is it possible to blame the ignorant -for- their ignorance. Would blame really help -if- that were possible?

Is it possible (or healthy) to attempt both, the secret -and- the honest life? Does one size fit all? Is this really a big deal?

Meaningful thoughts/comment appreciated....

 

[Siani]

It's hard to know what approach works best, and I think a lot would depend on the individuals concerned. Personally, I tend to limit discussion of my experiences to the online world. Few of my immediate friends and family are interested in the paranormal, and there is little chance of them stumbling upon anything I've written, or talked about, online.

If someone hasn't had a paranormal experience, it can be quite bewildering when a loved one starts claiming interaction with some kind of non-human/paranormal phenomenon. Often, the non-experiencer will initially assume their partner, relative, etc, is suffering some kind of neurological or psychological anomaly. If they later become convinced that something paranormal in nature really is happening, that can be very frightening. That fear often leads them to blame the experiencer, for dragging them into a strange and terrifying situation. I've personally been blamed by a number of friends, and a former boyfriend, for attracting the paranormal to them.

I certainly think that having anomalous experiences creates a distance between the experiencer and others around them. First of all, you don't want anyone else to get dragged into your experiences, especially vulnerable groups, such as young children. You don't want to discuss your experiences with your nearest and dearest, for fear they'll think you're nuts. But you also don't want to keep quiet, because you feel an obligation to forewarn people that strange things can happen when you're around.

I guess the easiest way out of that dilemma, is to keep your distance. Yet then, for me at least, there's a feeling that these non-human whatevers actually want you to be isolated from others, for purposes known only to themselves. Or maybe that's just paranoia on my part .

It's hard to know where to strike a balance. Personally, in more recent times, I've tended to think 'f*ck you' to whatever it is that's been trying to interact with me since childhood, and try to get on with life as best I can. I don't want this thing in my life, or pestering anyone else in my life, and as I grow older, I can't help but wonder if to acknowledge it is to feed it. I've also found that keeping quiet about it to family and friends, whatever 'it' is, seems to deter it from affecting them. I don't feel, by keeping things to myself, that I'm 'not being true' to myself. I just feel I'm preserving the 'normal' life around me that I need to be there, in order to cope the next time something anomalous decides to intrude upon me. Without that normality, I think the bogey man would win.

I hope the above makes sense .